“This is the Pen Tool, computer shortcut is the P. Once you hit P, you’ll see a –”
2nd semester of college, second week of Digital Illustration I.
And my teacher was talking through exactly what she’d assigned us to read the week before.
Time to pull out Inkheart.
Well…
Inkheart is a great book…
and by the time I tuned back into class, we were mocking up tea boxes for our final project.
And I had no clue how to make a line with that Pen Tool, let alone the elaborate illustrations I’d sketched out for my design.
I looked at the sketches.
Looked at the blank screen.
Looked at the sketches again.
My final tea box?
Hated it.
But as we started the critiques I noticed something really interesting.
The classmate who began his critique with negativity?
Harsh feedback.
No one liked the design.
The conversation highly critical.
But the classmate who presented confidently?
Rave reviews.
Guess how I presented my project?
Yep.
Not one word about my failed design,
my loathing for the little 7-inch box,
the drab color palette,
nothing.
Guess how my project was received?
Even the students I really respected –
the ones with really high standards –
they all said nice things about my design.
(And I got an A on the project. Because that, of course, is all that matters, right?)
Lessons learned?
- Stop thinking you’re so smart. You can learn from everyone.
- Don’t take yourself too seriously – the work you hate isn’t that bad.
- But above all: Stop with the self deprecation.
Be confident.
Make the ask.
Don’t apologize.
Y’know those pop up boxes that apologize for interrupting?
Hate ‘em.
(More than my tea box.)
Sole exception is Wait But Why. Their Twitter guy blows bubbles. All is forgiven.
I don’t hate the pop ups.
I hate the apologies.
If you’re gonna go all in with pop up boxes, go all in.
We’ve distorted permission marketing. Now we do apologetic marketing.
Sorry I’m interrupting.
Sorry I haven’t emailed.
Sorry I have a product to sell that will make your life better.
I’m all for nice. (Really.)
But niceties?
In marketing?
It just smacks of inauthenticity.
Worse, a sort of wishy washy, inability to commit.
And it’s ineffective.
Doesn’t engender loyalty.
Doesn’t promote clicks.
Doesn’t do anything but sit – tail between its legs.
Believe in what you’re doing.
And show up that way.
Couldn’t agree more! “Sorry to interrupt with this pop-up” is a colossal waste of prime marketing copy space.
I’m okay with “Wait! Before you go… Have you checked this amazing resource that is going to transform the way you…”
But an apology just pisses me off.
Apologizing in your pop-ups isn’t being nice. It’s disrespecting your offer and your audience’s time and intelligence.
YES! E-x-ac-t-l-y.
Dunno about you – and I don’t think it’s just because I’m a marketer – but exit intents really excite me. Like, literal, heart pumping excitement. The urgency (score!), the personalization (give me what I need)…I actually love ’em.
Yes, 100%! That pop-up (hopefully) has a specific purpose. There’s no need to apologize for its existence. Own the value you’re providing and move on.
This is so on point Nikki. A LOT of people send emails saying “Sorry I haven’t been in touch for a while”.
All the reader wants to know is this: Is there something of value in this email that I’ve just opened? Tell me quickly! Don’t waste time in the intro with your apologies!
??
Saw a video by Peep Laja of ConversionXL and he said: Say what you need to say in the email and that’s it. Cut everything else. People are too busy for niceties.
Biiiit too blunt for me, and I do believe you do need the story element sometimes, but I’m totally behind the principle.
So true!
As soon as you introduce a negative frame you are almost giving the person on the other side no choice but to step into that frame. If you’re apologizing you musta done something wrong, right?
Introduce a positive frame though? They’re gonna want to step into that one too :)
Oooh, love how you framed that. ;)
If I sign up, am I a loser now? Because I got suckered in by a pop up?
Tell us how you really feel Nikki! ;) Good points all the way around. People need to own their decisions and a great reminder to us all.
Should’ve name this ‘Sorry, I have a rant’, eh?
So well said. If you’ve got something great, why apologize? If it’s not great, apologizing only makes it worse.
Love Inkheart, btw ?
The best, right? But like all sequels, Inkspell was a disappointment. :(
Plus, if you’re still doing it … you aren’t sorry.
Great take, thanks Nikki!
#sorrynotsorry at its finest!
Bang on.
Thanks for putting your word-brain to this! Love it.
Thanks, Miish. Sorry for not getting to it sooner. ;P
This really resonates. I’ve seen studies that women do this even more frequently than men. In college classes, nearly all women who raised their hands to ask a question began with a disclaimer or apology.
Yeah, it’s called “hedging”. Trouble is, women who don’t do it can be seen as bossy — by both men & women! Talk about double-bind…
But back to your article, Nikki! Love it. Reminds me of my German teacher way back when, who told us not to give the laundry instructions with each piece we read to the class. Start them early!